The Illusory Fantasy Of Stability
Children believe that everything is stable or that they would like it to be stable. This “thinking that everything is fixed” is a fantasy that I convince myself that it really is. But Mr. Manolis’ grocery store is no longer there. An apartment building has taken its place. The super market left where it was and the gas station is also going. Friends changed, some weren’t for me (I thought they were), betrayals and intrigues happened and so the fantasy of stability collapsed.
The Illusory Fantasy Of Stability
The Illusory Fantasy Of Stability – Why Does This Fantasy Exist?
The role of the fantasy of stability is to free the self from the great currents of the idea of non-existence. From there, from this fear, a lot of developments arise and eventually happen that determine our behaviors and relationships. It seems that man has a need to be with someone (for example in a closer relationship) in order to proceed to death together. What a great idea! We can sigh comfortably and nod our heads condescendingly. Why talk about death? Why talk about non-existence? But everything around us proves our words. Power, entrepreneurship, wars, science, technology show in the most tangible way that somewhere we have to leave our mark on this world. We are built to take the world one step further.
The Illusory Fantasy Of Stability
Below where? Where we don’t know. In therapy people talk freely about their own death at one point and then. It’s liberating. If you have lost a loved one too? Then things run at high speed. Somewhere you remembered what you want to forget. You remembered the ending that looks like happy birthday below. But who supports this? What does the following mean and why did thousands of deaths occur across the earth yesterday? So we create a fantasy. The fantasy of stability. We use the biggest weapon: routine. Every day we repeat our lives. And we use some breaks to confirm the rule. The routine. She fearlessly guides us to the end. These are common to all. What is not common to everyone is whether you felt safe in infancy.
If you have a steady figure to look after you for the first year, then you’re lucky. Not that you don’t create illusory fantasies of stability and routine, but the inner experience is structured without cracks. You move forward without overwhelming fears even though we are all under the influence of that fear. However, stability in the first year is important, otherwise fears are intense and self-esteem suffers. We don’t want that. How can we help with this? Teaching fathers to actually help their wives and play their role properly. A father’s primary role is to provide context. This is something we will talk about in a moment.
The process of psychotherapy requires commitment, dedication and is addressed only to those who seriously see that they need to change their lives. If you are thinking of starting this journey, please call me at 211 71 51 801 to make an appointment and let’s see together how I can help you.
Mixalis Paterakis
Psychologist Psychotherapist
University of Indianapolis University of Middlesex
Karneadou 37, Kolonaki (next to Evangelismos)
I accept by appointment
Tel: 211 7151 801
www.psychotherapy.net.gr
www.mixalispaterakis.gr
The Illusory Fantasy Of Stability
Ψυχολογος Ψυχοθεραπευτης
“θεραπεία σημαίνει η προσπάθεια να καταλάβει κανείς τον εαυτό του. Να τον κατανοήσει. Να μάθει γιατί μισεί, γιατί έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση, γιατί δεν μπορεί να αγαπήσει, με λίγα λόγια να δει από που προέρχονται όλα αυτά…”
Για οτιδήποτε ψυχολογικό σας απασχολεί, μην διστάσετε να επικοινωνήσετε. Υπάρχει λύση σε κάθε πρόβλημα απλώς χρειάζεται να δούμε λίγο εσάς.
Psychologist Psychotherapist
“healing means trying to understand oneself. To understand him. To find out why he hates, why he has low self-esteem, why he can’t love, in short to see where all this comes from…”
For anything psychological that concerns you, do not hesitate to contact. There is a solution to every problem we just need to see a little of you.