First of all, we must say that there is a possibility that there is an underlying organic problem that causes insomnia or medical conditions that make it difficult for the person to get into a normal state of sleep. There one needs to look for things on an organic level. But if we are talking about a person who does not have an organic problem and is under tension or has anxiety, then we see what is happening on a psychological level.
The effect of stress and depression
Anxiety is capable of keeping a person alert. Depression can do the same or the opposite, i.e. sleeping too much. There something happens internally in the psyche. Some or some conflicts that exist but do not “inhabit” the surface of our consciousness. That is, while they exist within us, we do not know them. Insomnia itself is not the problem. It’s just a symptom like all the rest. A symptom such as being overly preoccupied with cleanliness, such as being afraid of being watched, such as repeating the same behavior in one’s relationship, such as not being able to have relationships in one’s life. It’s just a symptom. Symptoms are easily resolved with treatment. That’s not the problem.
Where is the problem located?
Then where is the problem? It is in the way we have internalized relationships. Relationships start from infancy. No one can think of himself as a unit. This is human nature. We cannot survive alone. From conception to the end of life we always have in our imaginary field of reference ourselves, and the “other”. Whether it is the mother who carries us, whether it is the mother’s reactions to her pregnancy, whether it is her husband with whom she has a specific relationship, whether it is the father and his unconscious reactions towards his son or daughter, whether it is the birth of another child and how we experience it. These forward feelings in life are repeated throughout our biological and psycho-emotional cycle.
The importance of relationships
We have too many stereotypes in our minds that need to be revisited. I usually ask my patients at some stage of the treatment: “how are your relationships with your mother, with your father”. Everyone without exception initially answers well. But once we dig a little of her inner life, the real feelings come out. So I know this is a defense. One cannot directly talk about one’s real feelings. The stage of creating a healing climate needs to intervene and then one opens up. I know this from the beginning. And in fact, in my own clinical eye, it is often obvious from very early on what is really happening with these feelings. That’s why I’m there. So that I can look deeper and thus understand the real feelings that exist within. So during the treatment one understands that it is not the symptoms that matter but the relationships that one has internalized (put in) during childhood.
What do we do in therapy?
There, in therapy with a trained therapist we can look at these feelings together. Patients always repeat them in therapy and push to play the same game. What they play in all their relationships. But the trained therapist who has in himself some elements of gratitude for the world along with his training and self-analysis over many years in various clinical, therapeutic and theoretical contexts, does not play, does not repeat this game . There a therapeutic reaction is created, the real emotional part is activated, the real feelings that have to do with anger, with hatred, with rage. These come out strongly in therapy and are channeled there. So this not repeating, but the emergence of the real feelings, brings the healing little by little. It is common to say that mothers for example love. This is rarely true though. When you experience what happened to your own mother and come within yourself to the situation you were and felt towards her as a child, you can experience everything that happened there. And that is not easy. But the cure is there to hold you. And to raise you. Adults who are children inside and have not matured I grow. This is my job.
*Republication of the article is prohibited without the written permission of the author.
The process of psychotherapy requires commitment, dedication and is addressed only to those who seriously see that they need to change their lives. If you are thinking of starting this journey, please call me at 211 71 51 801 to make an appointment and let’s see together how I can help you.
University of Indianapolis University of Middlesex
Karneadou 37, Kolonaki (next to Evangelismos)
I accept by appointment
Tel: 211 7151 801
“θεραπεία σημαίνει η προσπάθεια να καταλάβει κανείς τον εαυτό του. Να τον κατανοήσει. Να μάθει γιατί μισεί, γιατί έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση, γιατί δεν μπορεί να αγαπήσει, με λίγα λόγια να δει από που προέρχονται όλα αυτά…”
Για οτιδήποτε ψυχολογικό σας απασχολεί, μην διστάσετε να επικοινωνήσετε. Υπάρχει λύση σε κάθε πρόβλημα απλώς χρειάζεται να δούμε λίγο εσάς.
“healing means trying to understand oneself. To understand him. To find out why he hates, why he has low self-esteem, why he can’t love, in short to see where all this comes from…”
For anything psychological that concerns you, do not hesitate to contact. There is a solution to every problem we just need to see a little of you.