Civilization has brought many good things to man, but at the same time it has also increased his difficulties. Trying to be good within oneself while being in the world has never been an easy task. Especially when everything today is becoming more and more complicated between people’s relationships due to the strong sense of individuality. However, within this context, people do not stop having feelings that stem from childhood. Emotions that are not only of love and sensitivity, but also emotions that have anger and aggression in them.
The Expression Of Anger Psychotherapy Counseling – The use of love
Much has been written about love and its healing properties. And even more about how beneficial it can be between people’s relationships. Then since it has so many benefits, why don’t we use it directly? Why are people not loved? Why do couples divorce? Why do siblings clash? Why do wars happen? Why do rapes happen? Murders? Let’s use love and heal all. Many have tried this way but have not succeeded. But why don’t they succeed? Because when you exaggerate in love it means at the same time that you don’t let the anger out. So anger builds up and erupts. Real love also has anger in it. I love you means I care even if you have anger inside. And if you have aggression.
So there is also aggression. Hidden well under the smiles of the lips and behind the sneers of the face. Accumulated and unconscious aggression. Aggression we don’t know. Where we have pushed her away. We have hidden her. Aggression directed mainly at persons and situations that existed in the person’s life during the first six years of his life. Why is it hidden? She is hidden because she has fear inside her.
If I express aggression they will stop loving me and I will die. I’m not allowed to be jealous, I’m not allowed to take revenge, I’m not allowed to see family members in love, I’m not allowed to do other than what I’m told, and a bunch of other prohibitions that culture brings. Aggression therefore becomes an object of marginalization. We supposedly forget her but she doesn’t die. This is the big mistake one thinks. We think she’s dying but she’s just hiding. And when he sometimes comes out, one wonders at himself or wonders at someone else who thought he knew him and now sees a different face. But such is man in culture. It tries to find a balance between prohibitions and needs so that it can reduce tensions and increase pleasure.
Healing and anger
In therapy where the therapist is unknown to the client, it is easy to project all feelings. Hidden and conscious. That is why the therapist does not reveal things about himself to the patient. Because this is how one imagines who the therapist is, and of course what one imagines is one’s own. So we examine the self in this way in therapy. Feelings of anger, rage and hatred certainly come out there. My patients often hate me when I have done nothing to them. So why do they spew hate? They bring out hatred because they already have it inside and it usually involves something from their childhood. There are also some things that are real and may play a role in the patient-therapist relationship but this does not affect the relationship.
The relationship is influenced by the unconscious feelings of the treated person which are manifested in the face of the therapist. But this process helps people talk about their anger, express it, and stay in the relationship. As hard as it might be. And it is difficult. Some can’t stand it and give up. Some leave and come back. Some disappear. Depending on the problem that one carries inside, one behaves. But all problems are respected. They get strength from somewhere and grow stronger.
Stopping the repetition
But the worst is the repetition. Repetition is a torturous thing. You do it and you do it again and you do it again. You scratch the wound. You can’t get rid of the problem. Treatment is repeating the problem and fixing it. But each problem also has a different fix. So there the therapist has already made the diagnosis during the treatment and knows what needs to be done gradually to stop the recurrence. Breaking down resistances, stopping repetition and really getting in touch with hidden emotions are some of the key elements of proper healing. It takes time, it takes effort, but the healer heals. Life is a non-stop repetition of problems while time is so short. It’s really unfair. But we also accept this within us over time. That’s life. So what’s left might be better. Pleasant, beautiful, intimate and much closer to our true selves.
Anger management and the pseudo-dilemma
There is a fashion nowadays with the word “management”. How to manage this, how to manage that, etc. If you don’t know the roots of anger, you can’t manage anything, nor is it a matter of management, but of understanding the feelings you have for the important people in your life. It’s a false dilemma to think that while you’re angry and murdering people fifteen times a day inside, that you’ll be able to handle it. Aggression will come out. Either to oneself or to others. In many cases it turns into art and this is why artists call their art therapy. Aggression comes out there. It is not a cure, because they do not know anything about themselves, simply by playing other roles they come out of themselves in the case of actors, drawing the problem in the case of painters, depicting the form in the case of sculptors, etc. It is a release from which we benefit. everyone since we can enjoy the arts and letters but in there all the human pain is collected. Without problem there is no art. So art as well as science is what we call management. It is not a cure. One convinces oneself that it is a cure but it is a release. Creative. We transform the repressed aggressive and sexual urges into something else.
This is how culture is created, social prohibitions, etc. A real cure is to learn those feelings that are unconscious and to be able to enjoy myself and the relationships around me. That is why many fear that if they do therapy they will lose their creativity because they will not have that necessary ingredient that will push them to express it. They will no longer have the problem. Maybe it is true in some cases but if you are really interested in something, you can be creative with or without a problem. I haven’t noticed any loss of creativity. Equally it increases in the areas that are pleasant for the man who has advanced in understanding his emotional life. Below is a video about depression. Depression is created by unexpressed anger in infancy that is directed at the self. You may be interested.
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“θεραπεία σημαίνει η προσπάθεια να καταλάβει κανείς τον εαυτό του. Να τον κατανοήσει. Να μάθει γιατί μισεί, γιατί έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση, γιατί δεν μπορεί να αγαπήσει, με λίγα λόγια να δει από που προέρχονται όλα αυτά…”
Για οτιδήποτε ψυχολογικό σας απασχολεί, μην διστάσετε να επικοινωνήσετε. Υπάρχει λύση σε κάθε πρόβλημα απλώς χρειάζεται να δούμε λίγο εσάς.
“healing means trying to understand oneself. To understand him. To find out why he hates, why he has low self-esteem, why he can’t love, in short to see where all this comes from…”
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