The balance of pregnancy
Primary anxiety phobia psychotherapy: Human life when pregnant is facilitated by an absolute balance. The temperature is constant, the vital functions are maintained automatically and no self-maintenance effort needs to be made.
The undisturbed calm
So the experience of anxiety does not exist. On the contrary, a feeling prevails which is rather closer to undisturbed calm. This possibility for the born man takes the form of a “lost Atlantis” that we all search for but have never found. Let’s go back again. But we all know that happiness exists in moments. So one cannot expect to find, even if one desires, a “happily ever after.” But he can live the moments in which the nuggets of that era are contained.
However, to be born automatically means to lose forever the era that offered a safe cocoon, a warm aura, a holistic framework for the developing organism. So now an effort has to be made to breathe. This effort to achieve a goal is also the first stress in life. This real anxiety separates us from intrauterine life. It is the point of farewell to an entire era that we will remember almost forever.
Anxiety is repelled
Later this stress will be repressed so that we don’t remember its moment, nor its origin, nor its intensity. It will be pushed away and fade into oblivion. But there is no real oblivion. Nothing is lost as long as there is unconscious space. Rejected means that it goes into a basement of the mind and now lives there until it needs to be resurfaced. When does it need to come out again? When there is a threat.
Anxiety is a defense against death
What lay there unrecognized for so many years, is now being mobilized to be able to show us that something is wrong. It is both familiar and terrifying to us. And it is better that that should come than the sense of death. So it’s scary, but familiar. It must be comforted by the mother figure in order to live. And then it will be knocked unconscious for us to call upon when needed. In short, we live with the momentum of life and the momentum of death at the same time. We simply keep in the freezer everything that scares us during life.
The reduction of tensions and the emergence of joy
In this process, in this work, we will need to constantly keep the two sides in a relative balance. That of tensions and pleasure. When they are almost the same on the scale, then things are even simpler. We then recognize within ourselves that there can be no pain but also that there can be relief that brings pleasant feelings. For this to happen, the primary stress of the first year of life should be able to be absorbed by the figure who cares for the child. If this is done, everything is easier to deal with.
Anxiety in psychotherapy
In a proper psychotherapy, the primal anxiety is evident in moments when the self is trying to emerge. Especially when there are obstacles to his expression, when he finds it difficult to let go. The primal anxiety has not subsided. But in the relationship with the therapist it can flow in and be invested. There it is relived, within the therapeutic relationship. And there he can be comforted. There it can be pushed back. There it can therefore serve the purpose of life. This is what love does in our lives. It is in the service of life and a defense against death. So the primary stress has to do with these two aspects of life. These two sides of life when they are united life is easier. There the man experiences within himself that things do not have a great deviation. They converge, they are together. Both the difficult and the easy.
There one can deal with them as a whole and not in isolation from one another. This is how we see a greater part of our reality as well as that of others and reduce the appearance of the false self. We never see reality as a whole and completely, but the more we put one side together with the other in our lives, the more complete we feel. And this and that. And hate and love. And the joy and the disappointment. There is no special meaning in life that when you find it you will learn and understand things. The meaning is every moment and it is different in life for me and different for you. But if I can see your own meaning and the meaning it has for you, then I am more complete and you more complete.
The therapeutic relationship is therapeutic because it is unlike any other relationship in our lives. It is therapeutic because every trifle is important, every hidden meaning becomes an object of research that leads to real feelings, every defense is analyzed down to its roots. It is therapeutic because it has limits and frustrations that we explain and do not go unnoticed. It is therapeutic because it leads to an understanding of the self more and more holistically than any other situation. That’s why we call this relationship therapeutic. And it is not the treatment that matters, but with whom you are treating. That is why one is looking for the right therapist. Not everyone fits. On the therapist’s side, however, there must be appropriate training that includes personal long-term therapy, clinical experience, and supervision in addition to academic studies. The therapist must be in touch with his own unconscious parts so that he may not confuse them with the unconscious contents of his patient. That way he can appear helpful. And not with tips or techniques. Self-understanding is the result of the therapeutic relationship, not techniques. It’s a result of what’s going on between us, and it’s my job to see that and bring it into the relationship to fix it. This is the job of a psychotherapist.
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“θεραπεία σημαίνει η προσπάθεια να καταλάβει κανείς τον εαυτό του. Να τον κατανοήσει. Να μάθει γιατί μισεί, γιατί έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση, γιατί δεν μπορεί να αγαπήσει, με λίγα λόγια να δει από που προέρχονται όλα αυτά…”
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