Strictness Criticality Inflexibility

You will have met people in your life who are characterized in their social contacts by great strictness or intense criticism as well as by a reduced ability to be flexible in the various conditions of life. These people are very guilty and constantly try to put this burden of their guilt somewhere else. Usually to someone else. Why do they do this? They do it precisely because they can’t bear to feel this huge guilt that they carry and need to give it somewhere. So in contact with such a character it is certain that sooner or later this element will appear. In clinical practice, this symptomatology, which we call hyperegotic symptomatology, occurs most often.

The superego in psychoanalysis represents all those rules which in the imagination of the small child have taken on very large dimensions and have become part of the functioning of the self. If the rules, prohibitions and all emotions that are considered unacceptable such as anger, hatred, rage, aggression, etc. become very essential for the functioning of the psyche, then the person develops a range of cruel and unruly characteristics. How is such a range of functions created in some babies and not in other babies? This has to do with reparation on the part of the parents and their willingness to let all feelings be freely expressed and discussed. To enter the table. To become the object of a dialectic. This shows that the possibilities are open so nothing needs to be absolute. That is, reality can leave some aspects of it open.

It’s what we say is how I see things, but in the end it’s how the other person sees them too. That is, if you can see how a child sees things. Guidance and a stable frame of reference on the part of parents is a necessary and necessary condition for a child to grow up properly. However, as parents, we cannot help but see the possibility of a new organization having the view of the world in which it moves. Be sure to create the context, care without exaggeration about the child and the needs for contact, and you have already made a proper basis for development.

Strictness Criticality Inflexibility Strictness Criticality Inflexibility Strictness Criticality Inflexibility

Strictness Criticality Inflexibility – The Hidden Guilt

In people who have developed such characteristics as inflexibility, criticality and a strict attitude towards the world, we usually find hidden guilt in a strong degree. How does guilt arise? Guilt is a common fate for all and indeed a necessary component of a normal life. You will be surprised. And yet it is so. When we are babies we don’t care about anything but how to survive. The result is that for the first six months of life we live in an endless narcissism which ends the moment we begin to realize that another human being has taken care of our survival and we have tired him out all this time. There one feels guilty and gets depressed, but if one is lucky, one has a mother who understands and does not punish her child but understands and accepts that this is the way things are. This attitude creates even more guilt in the baby but at the same time also a joy because he understands that in this world we don’t just take but give. This is, after all, the meaning of life. To give. These have to do with the first weather. Later sexuality moves from mouth to anus and power. It is the time of negotiation, of striving for independence and of the big “no”.

Strictness Criticality Inflexibility

Strictness Criticality Inflexibility

Strictness Criticality Inflexibility
Strictness Criticality Inflexibility

And there you need tolerance from the parents, otherwise the other person is forced to kill you inside, so he becomes even more guilty. Then it is the season of genitals and love for the opposite sex. And there are claims, internal murders, guilt. How can a toddler cope? After the age of five, the great repulsion begins, that is, one forgets what one has felt in recent years. He may have been very angry and now comes across as the good guy. Wherever you see children who are what we call “the good children” be sure that you have before you an adult of tomorrow with great anxieties. We don’t generally want big stresses. These are underlying important repressed emotions that need to be surfaced and resolved. This is a work of psychotherapy that is specialized, psychoanalytic (ie understands these) deeply and in most cases long-term since it is based on the therapeutic relationship. We will say more in future articles about this topic.

The process of psychotherapy requires commitment, dedication and is addressed only to those who seriously see that they need to change their lives. If you are thinking of starting this journey, please call me at 211 71 51 801 to make an appointment and let’s see together how I can help you.
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