Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy 350 350 Paterakis Michalis
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

One of the most terrible moments of jealousy is when as a child you lose your reign to a new baby in the family.

-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-7-300x225 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

Parents’ love

You essentially lose the love of your parents as you enjoyed it until then. There you want to kill the baby and if you get the chance you might as well do it. Every day it happens that you see a child of three or four years old attacking the youngest baby they “brought” home.

-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-8-300x169 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy


Many children may experience nocturnal enuresis, loss of appetite or even stop eating completely because they feel that they have lost their parents’ love. In other words, the aggressive feelings are directed towards oneself since they are forbidden to be directed towards the baby and one knows that if the attack is directed towards the baby then the position of the older child will become even worse.


-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-1-300x225 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy



The pressure for love

Parents think that by pushing the child to love the younger one that they are slowly solving the problem but this cannot be done because there is hatred inside. Because they live together, the children get used to each other and over time they learn that each one has different characteristics both in terms of parental love and as a character. So you learn to tolerate and get used to some frustrations. That it cannot be yours. That is why older children, especially the first ones, try to overcome this problem by making efforts to become more independent, more dynamic, more autonomous. It is one thing to learn to live with another and another to be pushed to love another.

-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-3-300x300 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

The regression

Many children when a new baby is born in the family regress. That is, they start behaving as if they were younger than their age. They believe that if they do this they will be lucky enough to enjoy the cares of the mother again as before and in this way they will balance the feeling of inferiority that has arisen since the parents now give most of their attention to the younger baby.

Excessive protectiveness

Another characteristic that occurs is when the older child is overly protective of the younger. This means: “I hate you but hide it with my great protection”. Excessive display of love always hides hatred behind. That’s why in culture we often smile at anyone we don’t like.

-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-6-300x200 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy


These feelings are there forever

These feelings remain active throughout life. If they are already pushing you to love while you hate, then you will probably hide them in the basement of the soul so they cannot be seen. But the hidden aggression comes out in ill-intentioned humor, in gossip, in supposedly well-intentioned criticism, you become strict with yourself and others, indifferent, fake.

-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-5-300x200 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

Jealousy hides

Jealousy is also seen in the disposition to reduce others, to encroach on their rights, to take advantage of them, to be the strong case. But one does this in a secret way. Or it shows the exact opposite and thus can sell allegedly that it does it out of charity. So many may become politicians or rise to powerful positions but their unconscious motivation is not to help but to impose themselves. They want to be loved by the world, the people (mom and dad), and whatever they do they do it in return. “If you love me I’ll do something, I’ll give you a crumb.” It is not gratitude that drives them but jealousy.

-ΖΗΛΕΙΑ-4-300x199 Jealousy Between Siblings Hatred Envy

Mature treatment

Like all repressed feelings, jealousy is repressed but active throughout life. This means that without realizing it one behaves as when he was a small child but with the mask of an adult. This prevents us from relating maturely. It keeps us in childhood. It doesn’t let us grow up and enjoy life with its good, mediocre, boring and bad moments. The result is that you do not act with the adult thinking but with the child’s. But the children do not take responsibility, so the problem is perpetuated by passing from one generation to the next.

*republication of the article is prohibited without the written permission of the author

See also: Primal stress

The process of psychotherapy requires commitment, dedication and is addressed only to those who seriously see that they need to change their lives. If you are thinking of starting this journey, call me at 211 71 51 801 to make an appointment and see together how I can help you.

Mixalis Paterakis
Psychologist Psychotherapist
I accept by appointment
Karneadou 37 Kolonaki
Tel: 211 71 51 801

    Πατεράκης Μιχάλης
    Ψυχολόγος Αθήνα


      Psychologist Athens