Psychotherapy Psychological Support Counseling – Repulsion in childhood
All people are repressed in our childhood, that is, we expel from our consciousness the feelings that are burdensome, unpleasant, we imprison everything that causes us great discomfort, we don’t let them express themselves, we don’t let them speak. These repressed elements are also the causes of adult symptoms. That is, an adult who comes with symptoms of anxiety, for example, hides childhood conflicts about which he does not know much, even though these conflicts are within himself.
Every person is different
For each person, the difficulties that are repelled are of different intensity and quality, although essentially the type of repulsions is common to all people. Of course, the personal temperament and the special circumstances in which a person grows up are unique things and each person has his own way of experiencing the feelings within him.
So in psychotherapy we look specifically at each person to find where there are rejections, when they happened, and why they happened. Thus we are led over time to the real feelings that are hidden in the unconscious field. We are led into this oblivion which has taken place in order that man may not feel frightened. Because that’s what repulsion serves. The fear that something bad might happen inside us or that we might lose the love of important persons, leads us to this state of “forgetting” some feelings.
In therapy we talk about our childhood
This is something that basically happens on its own. If we ask the patient if he has relived the feeling that bothers him today, he will usually recall images from his childhood. In psychotherapy which is oriented to make a deep introspection, all those important events, representations, memories and feelings that one had as a small child are revived. The psychotherapist knows how to help the person focus on those important elements that are the core of his problem. To stand where the problem is. This is because connections are to be made between the traumatic elements and their feelings. So man slowly connects his emotional world from the past, with the current conditions. There everyone finds that these two worlds are very closely related. As these connections begin, the person begins to realize their true self and difficulties diminish. So is stress.
See also anxiety disorders
The resistances and the attempt to block the hidden feelings
Resistances exist and are raised during the treatment effort. This is of course done to prevent the awareness of the repressed elements but the treatment helps to overcome them. There are many kinds of resistance, eg repulsion, denial, division, etc. But why is this opposite effort made by the psyche? Why is it that while on the one hand the psyche tries to show us that something is wrong, on the other hand it prevents us from realizing everything that confuses us, disturbs us, creates problems in our relationships and brings us face to face with symptoms? The answer is that we are made in a way that is quite complex. With desires, with needs, with rules, with prohibitions.
All those elements that exist in society exist because we have them within us. Just as in society there are courts and prisons, so there are courts and prisons within us. But also as in us there is the feeling of love that we feel sometimes, so in society we project love through things that bring us great pleasure. Every thing, every activity, every element that exists in the social space, is a projection of man to the outside. It is an attempt by man to express his inner world. So the psyche also has resistances. In society, the resistances are the institutions.
The institutions, the authorities, set frameworks, regulations and prohibitions. These help us to live with respect towards each other and to know our rights as well as our obligations. This is how it happens in the psyche. There are institutions. Institutions that object to the attempt to surface an impermissible desire. In psychoanalysis we call this process resistance. There are resistances to awareness. So therapy is an attempt to see all that exists within us, overcoming the institutions. Overcoming defense mechanisms. If we overcome them, we can make better relationships, which is the goal of therapy. See also about relationships
The problem of defense mechanisms and repetition
Childhood and the feelings we have put aside since then are active in our adult life. The more we don’t know them, the more we deny them, the more we rationalize them, the more we reverse them, the more they insist on coming to the surface and the greater and persistent repetition they do. Repetition in man is identical with his existence. He has a compulsive character. In other words, one cannot escape from it. We repeat our whole inner mental life incessantly. But when we begin to understand it better, when we resist forgetting, the repetitions begin and change in the direction of better choices. That’s where one starts and leaves. He really feels freer. But first he needs to understand. To be able to distinguish within himself what he feels towards his parents, his siblings, the environment and the situations in which he grew up. When these become more conscious, then the resistances decrease and their place is taken by the pleasure that one feels in the human relations.
The goal is pleasure from human relationships
If there is a basic goal for a psychotherapy, it is to enable the person to make relationships in which he feels whole, full and complete on a spiritual, social and personal level. To be able to enjoy interacting with other people. To be able to enjoy company, friendship, sex, social participation and cooperation, without setting excessive rules. So we try within a psychotherapeutic framework to offer that situation which is not like everyday life.
Through this context where man can speak freely and in a way that he is not allowed to speak in the rest of his life, the self hidden behind the fears begins and emerges over time. The true self that was hidden for a long time but was there. He wasn’t dead. He was there and had wants and needs which remained strong. As strong as they were in childhood.
We discover these desires and express them in therapy. Through dreams that help us see our hidden life. through the free association that brings to mind what really concerns us but also through our relationship with the therapist in which all the elements through which we relate are presented, we find our repressed feelings and come into contact with them. So they cease to be unconscious and stop bothering us.
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“θεραπεία σημαίνει η προσπάθεια να καταλάβει κανείς τον εαυτό του. Να τον κατανοήσει. Να μάθει γιατί μισεί, γιατί έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση, γιατί δεν μπορεί να αγαπήσει, με λίγα λόγια να δει από που προέρχονται όλα αυτά…”
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