These belong to reality. You learn that no matter how much you want, you can’t have what you want and much more when you want it. But to tolerate this, to endure this frustration, you have to have the ability to do it. This ability is acquired when you feel that you are not deprived. Otherwise you complain, shout, hit, rage, feel unsatisfied, become dependent, possessive. These are the reactions of an entire people. It is our temperament. Still the moms of new moms say today, don’t spoil it, don’t hug it all the time. But we know from child psychoanalytic theory, from clinical practice with children and adults, and from psychoanalytic research involving infant observation and data recording, that this is wrong.
The first year
In the first year, it is absolutely necessary for the baby to be hugged by the figure who takes care of him. Whenever the baby feels like it. This is only understood by the figure who takes care of the baby because she has formed a kind of special bond with the baby that allows her to listen to the needs. When he is hungry, when he is cold, when he wants physical contact, when he is afraid, etc.
The adult carries all these senses, his history, with him. It is recorded. And she is unconscious. In other words, you go and find relationships exactly where this unconscious tape playing inside you tells you. So our relationships are not random. But one needs to do a proper treatment to understand these.
If you are relatively well, you are not interested in looking for something because you have found your partner who you can live with. That’s about 30%. The remaining 70% around the world have problems. He fights, breaks up, butchers himself, makes up, breaks down, etc. Because our emotional life is not in the light. This is our nature. The nature of man. That’s why we develop defenses that help keep us balanced for some time. Defenses are helpful. But if you have major upheavals in life, especially early in life, defenses quickly weaken because problems press for resolution. So there one makes symptoms.
As a precaution, the school should help. But it is difficult to put specialists and well-trained people in schools and even more difficult to convince the relevant ministries, teachers’ associations, parents, etc. to accept the establishment of psychoanalytic groups in schools. That’s how people get on with problems. It resists awareness because problems are hidden behind it and man delays his self-awareness. But the emotional life is the real life and not our cognitive nature. The true joy of knowing yourself and being able to share it lies in the emotional life.
This is a job that a psychotherapist does. He is trained for years and goes through many stages of learning, emotional, practical, cognitive and clinical and through various kinds of special educational programs, in order to be able to help in this direction of emotional awareness. This is what we call healing. To understand this complex phenomenon that is yourself. Which is not easy. But it helps us to live better in this short time that we came to live in this world. This break in eternity we call life.
*republication of the article is prohibited without the written permission of the author
The process of psychotherapy requires commitment, dedication and is addressed only to those who seriously see that they need to change their lives. If you are thinking of starting this journey, call me at 211 71 51 801 to make an appointment and see together how I can help you.
“θεραπεία σημαίνει η προσπάθεια να καταλάβει κανείς τον εαυτό του. Να τον κατανοήσει. Να μάθει γιατί μισεί, γιατί έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση, γιατί δεν μπορεί να αγαπήσει, με λίγα λόγια να δει από που προέρχονται όλα αυτά…”
Για οτιδήποτε ψυχολογικό σας απασχολεί, μην διστάσετε να επικοινωνήσετε. Υπάρχει λύση σε κάθε πρόβλημα απλώς χρειάζεται να δούμε λίγο εσάς.
“healing means trying to understand oneself. To understand him. To find out why he hates, why he has low self-esteem, why he can’t love, in short to see where all this comes from…”
For anything psychological that concerns you, do not hesitate to contact. There is a solution to every problem we just need to see a little of you.