Human Relationships Communication Affection

The three main things that a relatively good mom has are: Smell, look and hug (in there is caress). But it must be one in the first year. Stable. Don’t change. This is how the baby gets a sense of security, gets love. This is love for the baby. How you look at it, what voice it hears, how you hug it, if you caress it. That’s how he learns that he’s worth it since he has these. He is loved and in this way he loves himself. So, in the first year, mom gives everything to the baby. He lacks nothing. So later he will learn to tolerate interruptions, he will not want here and now what he lacks, he will learn to wait.

These belong to reality. You learn that no matter how much you want, you can’t have what you want and much more when you want it. But to tolerate this, to endure this frustration, you have to have the ability to do it. This ability is acquired when you feel that you are not deprived. Otherwise you complain, shout, hit, rage, feel unsatisfied, become dependent, possessive. These are the reactions of an entire people. It is our temperament. Still the moms of new moms say today, don’t spoil it, don’t hug it all the time. But we know from child psychoanalytic theory, from clinical practice with children and adults, and from psychoanalytic research involving infant observation and data recording, that this is wrong.

 

The first year

In the first year, it is absolutely necessary for the baby to be hugged by the figure who takes care of him. Whenever the baby feels like it. This is only understood by the figure who takes care of the baby because she has formed a kind of special bond with the baby that allows her to listen to the needs. When he is hungry, when he is cold, when he wants physical contact, when he is afraid, etc.

The adult carries all these senses, his history, with him. It is recorded. And she is unconscious. In other words, you go and find relationships exactly where this unconscious tape playing inside you tells you. So our relationships are not random. But one needs to do a proper treatment to understand these.

 

 

Rates worldwide

If you are relatively well, you are not interested in looking for something because you have found your partner who you can live with. That’s about 30%. The remaining 70% around the world have problems. He fights, breaks up, butchers himself, makes up, breaks down, etc. Because our emotional life is not in the light. This is our nature. The nature of man. That’s why we develop defenses that help keep us balanced for some time. Defenses are helpful. But if you have major upheavals in life, especially early in life, defenses quickly weaken because problems press for resolution. So there one makes symptoms.

 

Prevention helps

As a precaution, the school should help. But it is difficult to put specialists and well-trained people in schools and even more difficult to convince the relevant ministries, teachers’ associations, parents, etc. to accept the establishment of psychoanalytic groups in schools. That’s how people get on with problems. It resists awareness because problems are hidden behind it and man delays his self-awareness. But the emotional life is the real life and not our cognitive nature. The true joy of knowing yourself and being able to share it lies in the emotional life.

This is a job that a psychotherapist does. He is trained for years and goes through many stages of learning, emotional, practical, cognitive and clinical and through various kinds of special educational programs, in order to be able to help in this direction of emotional awareness. This is what we call healing. To understand this complex phenomenon that is yourself. Which is not easy. But it helps us to live better in this short time that we came to live in this world. This break in eternity we call life.

*republication of the article is prohibited without the written permission of the author

See also: Infidelity, Divorce And Forgiveness In Marriage

See also: Abandonment and its effects on mental life

The process of psychotherapy requires commitment, dedication and is addressed only to those who seriously see that they need to change their lives. If you are thinking of starting this journey, call me at 211 71 51 801 to make an appointment and see together how I can help you.

Mixalis Paterakis
Psychologist Psychotherapist
I accept by appointment
Karneadou 37 Kolonaki
Tel: 211 71 51 801
www.mixalispaterakis.gr
www.psychotherapy.net.gr